Of egg jams and other miseries....

OK...lemme tell u right off that I am not in my senses.So anything I write here is to be considered as the rantings of a demented mind and treated as such.

Lib-eration

End sems have started and the social hub of IIT-R has suddenly shifted from Nesky-UG to CL ( Central Library, not to be confused with Civil Lines, which is CL in normal days). Everybody who's anybody and their aunt is to be found here at any given time, right from 10 in the morning (early birds, darn them) till midnight (that's when I usually pack up).

Regular visits to Nesky, Alpahar and UG (for "breaks" from intense studying) notwithstanding, the Lib has suddenly become the centre of companionship, camaraderie, friendship and all pervasive love. Those who were enemies all semester, become best buddies when they discover that each has the notes that the other wants. Everybody is in the same soup as everyone else, and this banishes any hard feelings haboured against humanity. There's nothing more satisfying than seeing your neighbour with his head buried in books, while you sit back and enjoy, coz u have a gap between papers. Your neighbour gets the same satisfaction the next day while you're frantically doing some last minute mugging. All are equal under the vast roof of the Lib when it comes to getting screwed.

The all pervasive love is quite visible in the too-close-for-our-comfort couples snuggling up on the couches, or holding hands under the table, sitting right next to you., while you squirm uncomfortably or develop a crick in your neck from looking in the opposite direction. Love is also what you feel when you suddenly discover that the long-forgotten tute you thought you'd lost forever, is returned to you just in time for the exam by a considerate hostelmate who found the pages flying in the corridor....


Neskyssues

Nesky wears a forlorn look these days, what with the harsh summer sunshine not helping its cause. However, at around 12pm and 6pm everyday, Nesky suddenly dorns a festive look again as weary, exhausted students stagger up to the counter for some Frappe or Ice tea to soothe their parched throats and bruised souls after an exam. Nesky waale bhaiya happens to consider me a friend (anybody would if I gave him business worth at least 20 bucks each time , sometimes several times a day) , and confidentially tells me that the last day of any exam is when Nesky earns a bumper profit. I nod my acknowledgement of this fact, while adding another Rs10 to Nesky's coffers....

Another factor prevalent these days is Sentiyaapa. At frequent intervals, without warning, a feeling of sentimentality and nostalgia grips you, and you start reminiscing about the glorious days of past semesters, recalling incidents that happened way back in 1st sem, and are now part of ancient history. For that matter, Nesky Bhaiya isn't one to be left behind, as he gruffly asks me when I'll be leaving, enquires about my job and tells me there will be an ice tea and a chilled frappe waiting for me when I return for the Convo next sem. I'm quite touched and teary eyed by the time I leave the counter, having added another Rs13 to Nesky's account....

Egg-jams for breakfast

Its only on the day of an exam that I have breakfast in the mess. Today, we had kaala chana, bread and tomato sauce. Why tomato sauce was included is a mystery that even the self-proclaimed-ketchup-freak Ash could not fathom. Having chewed a few spoons of chana till my jaws ached and gulped down a glass of hot tea, I started on the long trek to the Department to give the exam. On the way, neither Ash nor I spoke much. Ash wasn't studying on the way for a change, and my jaws were still aching with the chewing effort....

Desert-ation

My dissertation is not progressing healthily..in fact its not progressing at all. My guide seemed to have deserted me in desert of Linear Complementarity with no oasis in sight. I finally managed to pin him down, and have forced my few typed pages upon him. He's promised me he'll look at it today. Lets see if my oasis is finally in sight or if I'm going to be buried in the sandstorm....

Its hot and I'm tired...am going off to sleep now...

Tell me why...

You say you dont need to prove anything..
Tell me why am I left looking
for a sign that you love me,
for a gesture to show you care,
for any move you might make towards me
to tell me that you're there?

Tell me why
You make me cry.
My salty tears wetting my cheek,
As I wait for you week after week..
Any news from across the distance
To lift me from this cursed existence...

A life left for me to spend..
A thousand light years long, and no end.
Tell me why I fell in love
Was it written from up above?
Is there no comfort in the darkness?
The night gives me little solace...

I wait for an eternity, an eternity of pain,
Long minutes, stretching into hours again...
Second by second I waste away..
Day turns to night, night to day.
Tell me why I still wait for you
When all I have is a kiss to hold on to....

As yet untitled..

Not a child anymore..
And not yet all grown..
Not as innocent as before..
But a lot is still unknown..

I'm flying now..
Am sailing on my wings..
Flying where I don't know..
New horizons life brings..

A fresh start, with a fresh heart..
Where this road leads is a mystery..
On my own two feet I stand apart..
I'm out to make some history..

Leaving behind a world that's mine..
Of comfort, support and friendliness..
Uncertain, unknown I find..
Is the road that I travel ,of loneliness..

No more known faces,
No smiles or hellos..
I'm going to new places,
Meet people galore..

But as I move out
I feel insecure,
The ones who I love
Aren't there anymore..

Fear and trepidation strike..
The future stares back at me blank..
All the way uphill, it's gonna be a tough hike..
I'll fight my fears, push them back..

For my memories will guide me
Through darkness and strife..
Unseen hands will steer me
Through the mire of life..

And when I finally find my niche
I'll know I've made it through..
With every single word and wish
I'll fly in the sky so blue..
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