Introspection

Its not that I am not aware of how blessed I am... its just that there is an ever growing discontentment with life as it is that's bothering me. I can't quite place my finger on what exactly is lacking, but there is a void that is expanding and I don't know why...

Suddenly, the world seems like such a big place, with so much to do, and so little time... I'm so caught up with living my daily life, that I'm unable to do anything more than just that. I'm so sure there's more to life than just earning my daily bread and leading a take-it-as-it-comes existence. I'm not much of a planner, I've never been an ambitious person. And yet, people around me have faith in me and my abilities, maybe more than I do... and that is a disturbing thought. Am I meant to do something more, am I supposed to make a difference? If so, what, how, when, where and why? I don't see it happening any time soon, and the horizon stretches endlessly in front of me.

I know I sound gloomy, but apart from this feeling that's gnawing me from inside, I'm actually pretty good. I'm happy and not content.

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:31 PM

    you are a achiever!
    n its not the void its the space..
    your circle of well-wishers n loved ones..
    only if u cud see it from the outside , you are making a lot of difference in there!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I question myself : Have I had made a difference that made life better for someone? And I draw a blank. Sure, I may have distributed a few laughs, may have wiped a few tears.. but who hasn't helped spread some cheer? I have received so much more than I have ever given... And yet I don't know where the giving should begin.

    I'm not trying to be modest or anything... neither am I fishing for compliments.. Its the simple truth.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous8:41 PM

    I know!

    "who hasn't helped spread some cheer?" : A lot of 'em, just question urself n u'll kno!

    n ya the one who pulls b held responsible n in your case u sure must b holding on..u r making 'a life' better then... n everytime u hold on..

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!

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